Dear Tourist Guy:

Look. I understood what you said. “Museo” is a pretty easy word to translate even if I didn’t have 4 years of Spanish under my belt. But how exactly were we supposed to communicate beyond that? What museum? There are at least four museums near Midtown (that I can think of off the top of my head), and I do not know how to (correctly) say “Museum of Modern Art” in Spanish. Therefore it would have been a little difficult to flesh out further where you wanted to go.

Plus, I don’t remember how to say any numbers above 49. I couldn’t even tell you where to go once we figured out where you wanted to go. You would have been stuck circling around Rockefeller Center for hours. Blame my lack of foreign language skills on the failing American education system, I suppose.

The point is when I give you the universal “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you” shrug and corresponding look, please don’t roll your eyes and get snippy with me. I would have loved to have helped you, but quite frankly, now I’m glad I couldn’t. You are kind of a jerk.

Sincerely,

akymbo